Filed Under:Life Insurance, Life Settlements

15 best insurance quotes of all time

Think outside the box - sayings and proverbs from the insurance industry.
Think outside the box - sayings and proverbs from the insurance industry.
“A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.” – Latin proverb dating back to the 13th century.  

There are certain universal truths that we can find in proverbs, quotes and sayings for anything in life.

From wise sayings to funny jokes, has collected the best life and health insurance sayings and quotes from literary writers, comedians and politicians. We hope these make you laugh (or at least giggle) and provide some insight into our industry, as well as creative ideas if you’re trying to work through a writer’s block to come up with your company’s slogan or marketing campaign.

Birthday candles

"Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs." - Frank McKinney aka “Kin” Hubbard (1868-1930), American cartoonist, humorist and journalist.

Magic Johnson

"As an athlete, I understood the value of my health insurance. I knew that in my profession, injuries were common and could happen at any time." - Magic Johnson (1959- ), retired professional basketball player, who played for the L.A. Lakers. (Photo: AP)

Jim Parsons

"What does friends with benefits even mean? Does he provide her with health insurance?" - Sheldon Cooper, character from the TV show The Big Bang Theory. Jim Parsons (1973- ; photo: AP) plays Sheldon on TV.

Surprised old couple

"My wife bought an extra life insurance policy on me." - Willie Aames (1960- ), American actor, film and television director, played Tommy Bradford on the 1970s TV series Eight is Enough and Buddy Lembeck on the 1980s series Charles in Charge.


"I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall someday die, which is not so." - Stephen Butler Leacock (1869-1944), English-born Canadian teacher, political scientist, writer, and humorist. 

Suze Orman

Baby duck

Isaac Barinholtz

"I’m a big crier in general. The right life insurance commercial will take me out for a couple of days." - Isaac “Ike” Barinholtz (1977- ), American actor, comedian, voice actor and writer, plays Nurse Morgan Tookers in the TV show The Mindy Project. (Photo: AP)



"Would you agree that the only person who can take care of the older person you will someday be - is the younger person you are now?" - Unknown author.

jack benny and jane wyatt

"I don’t want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.” - Jack Benny (1894-1974) American comedian, radio, TV, and film actor (with Jane Wyatt at the 1958 Emmys; photo: AP).


Phil Gramm and John McCain

"If I brought groceries the way I buy health insurance, I’d eat a lot better – and so would my dog.” - Phil Gramm (1942- ), American economist and politician, former Congressman and Senator (with John McCain; photo: AP).

Sri Sathya Sai Baba

“The grace of God is like insurance. It will help you in your time of need without any limit.” - Sri Sathya Sai Baba (1926-2011), Indian guru and spiritual leader. (Photo: AP)

Customer rep

"I called an insurance company to get a quote. They gave me one of Oscar Wilde’s best." - Jarod Kintz (1982- ), American author, humorist. 


“Don’t sell life insurance. Sell what life insurance can do.” - Ben Feldman (1912-1993), American businessman and world-renowned salesperson. 

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